On Tact.
It’s an interesting thing-- tact. We hear about it often, in business associations, diplomatic relationships and other such formal interactions. I'd say we all agree it's a good thing. After all, it is a prime key to basic manners. We try to teach it to our children, that they respect adults, family and their peers. We try to utilize it with one another out of respect and love for our fellow man. That is-- until the subject of religion comes up. Then, it seems that the gloves come off, we get our elbows up and all attempt at tact comes to a screeching halt.
It's a subject I've often thought on, and one that I must be very careful when discussing, in order to keep myself from diving into a full out rant. Because of all the stupid things that people do, this one is placed way, way at the top of my list of personal grievances. But I shall try my best to remain objective, logical and tactful about it.
I suppose what baffles me most is that people actually seem to think that by being completely rude to someone, you can show them the light, bring them over to your point of view, and everything will be nice and rosy with everyone happy. It's not really a side of ourselves that we like to think about, and I have to confess that I myself am not always the most tactful of people. But I do know that it breaks my heart to see people of other religions come to me full of pain and seeking some kind of assurance that Christianity is not populated by the kind of blatantly mean people whom they'd just encountered. For example, I recently came into the acquaintanceship of a young lady through this blog who was a pagan. She'd read the blog, and wanted to see what kind of person I was, because she'd just had a rather nasty encounter with a local church. Curious about the Christian faith, she went to see for herself what it was about. Her first day there, the pastor told her, quite bluntly that 1. she had to remove the pentagram on her necklace, 2. she was outright evil, and 3. he thought she needed an exorcism. To my knowledge she's never been back to a church. If you ask me, that pastor did more damage than good.
Yes, perhaps her wearing a pentacle wasn't the best discretion, but let's turn the tables. Let's say that I, as a Christian, were to attend, for whatever reason, a synagogue. Upon entering, the rabbi sees my cross, which I never take off, and begins to lecture me on why Judaism is the right way, and I should abandon my "false" Christian faith. He takes no time to get to know me, anything about me, just goes right into all the reasons I'm wrong. It would probably take all of three seconds for mind to slam shut to whatever it is he's trying to tell me. First of all, you really can't do that about any idea, but when you add sacred beliefs into the mix, the fire can only get that much hotter.
Another thing I've often heard in defense of such actions is "Well it's true isn't it?" It's pretty easy to pinpoint when it's not true, like the zealots who like to parade around with signs that read God hates fags. First of all, it's a blatant lie, and second, it is damaging. How many in the gay community do you think were inspired to repentance from reading something like that? I doubt it's a far stretch to say none.
But suppose something really is true? An example that comes to mind is a conversation that I was privy to among some friends about a relative of theirs who was exploring the Catholic Church. One woman, who I love dearly (though I think it wiser that she and I not discuss religion), chimed in "Well, it certainly wouldn't be my first choice, but I guess it's better than nothing." Apparently, the offence showed on my face, because she followed up to me with an unapologetic, "Well, I'm sorry, but it's the truth." Which I'm sure it was. I've no doubt to her honesty in that situation, but it was still rude, whether true or not.
My point is, that even with undisputable truth, one must be gentle. Truth is not a weapon to wield with which you can browbeat one to enlightenment. In scripture, Truth is equated to Light. Whenever I'm in bed, and it's dark, and someone comes and flips on the light switch, do I want to thank them for bringing me the light? No! I cringe and hide under the covers and throw things at the person who so harshly exposed me to that light. Truth is very similar. Even when in fact you are right and they're wrong, you cannot be harsh with that Truth. In fact, if you try to slam them into it, they'll probably tell you exactly where you can stick your "Truth".
The problem stems from Truth that is presented without Love. Paul addressed this, saying that even if one held all wisdom, and could speak with all tongues of men and angels but had no love, then it was vanity. I'm sure that those who harshly use Truth have the best of intentions. Few do it to be mean. They really want to see people brought to salvation, and that can blur the senses when one's passion runs without temperance. In their eagerness, they have forgotten the main tenants of Love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the Truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." John 13:34 Amen.
Vincent Christian.
It's a subject I've often thought on, and one that I must be very careful when discussing, in order to keep myself from diving into a full out rant. Because of all the stupid things that people do, this one is placed way, way at the top of my list of personal grievances. But I shall try my best to remain objective, logical and tactful about it.
I suppose what baffles me most is that people actually seem to think that by being completely rude to someone, you can show them the light, bring them over to your point of view, and everything will be nice and rosy with everyone happy. It's not really a side of ourselves that we like to think about, and I have to confess that I myself am not always the most tactful of people. But I do know that it breaks my heart to see people of other religions come to me full of pain and seeking some kind of assurance that Christianity is not populated by the kind of blatantly mean people whom they'd just encountered. For example, I recently came into the acquaintanceship of a young lady through this blog who was a pagan. She'd read the blog, and wanted to see what kind of person I was, because she'd just had a rather nasty encounter with a local church. Curious about the Christian faith, she went to see for herself what it was about. Her first day there, the pastor told her, quite bluntly that 1. she had to remove the pentagram on her necklace, 2. she was outright evil, and 3. he thought she needed an exorcism. To my knowledge she's never been back to a church. If you ask me, that pastor did more damage than good.
Yes, perhaps her wearing a pentacle wasn't the best discretion, but let's turn the tables. Let's say that I, as a Christian, were to attend, for whatever reason, a synagogue. Upon entering, the rabbi sees my cross, which I never take off, and begins to lecture me on why Judaism is the right way, and I should abandon my "false" Christian faith. He takes no time to get to know me, anything about me, just goes right into all the reasons I'm wrong. It would probably take all of three seconds for mind to slam shut to whatever it is he's trying to tell me. First of all, you really can't do that about any idea, but when you add sacred beliefs into the mix, the fire can only get that much hotter.
Another thing I've often heard in defense of such actions is "Well it's true isn't it?" It's pretty easy to pinpoint when it's not true, like the zealots who like to parade around with signs that read God hates fags. First of all, it's a blatant lie, and second, it is damaging. How many in the gay community do you think were inspired to repentance from reading something like that? I doubt it's a far stretch to say none.
But suppose something really is true? An example that comes to mind is a conversation that I was privy to among some friends about a relative of theirs who was exploring the Catholic Church. One woman, who I love dearly (though I think it wiser that she and I not discuss religion), chimed in "Well, it certainly wouldn't be my first choice, but I guess it's better than nothing." Apparently, the offence showed on my face, because she followed up to me with an unapologetic, "Well, I'm sorry, but it's the truth." Which I'm sure it was. I've no doubt to her honesty in that situation, but it was still rude, whether true or not.
My point is, that even with undisputable truth, one must be gentle. Truth is not a weapon to wield with which you can browbeat one to enlightenment. In scripture, Truth is equated to Light. Whenever I'm in bed, and it's dark, and someone comes and flips on the light switch, do I want to thank them for bringing me the light? No! I cringe and hide under the covers and throw things at the person who so harshly exposed me to that light. Truth is very similar. Even when in fact you are right and they're wrong, you cannot be harsh with that Truth. In fact, if you try to slam them into it, they'll probably tell you exactly where you can stick your "Truth".
The problem stems from Truth that is presented without Love. Paul addressed this, saying that even if one held all wisdom, and could speak with all tongues of men and angels but had no love, then it was vanity. I'm sure that those who harshly use Truth have the best of intentions. Few do it to be mean. They really want to see people brought to salvation, and that can blur the senses when one's passion runs without temperance. In their eagerness, they have forgotten the main tenants of Love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the Truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." John 13:34 Amen.
Vincent Christian.
posted by Vincent Christian | 10:11 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home